Deadpan since the first retrograde

Astrology apparel for complicated people.

Sarcastic shirts for the cosmically tired. Printed to order, shipped from the USA, blessed by absolutely no one.

Shop on Etsy → See the shirts

We take astrology exactly as seriously as it deserves. Which is to say, not very.

The collection, so far

Shirts for the spiritually unbothered. More whenever Mercury allows it.

Cosmically Tired tee, worn candid on-body Cosmically TiredBella+Canvas 3001 · $28.99Shop this → The Stars Said No, I Did It Anyway tee, flat lay on a styled celestial surface The Stars Said No, I Did It AnywayBella+Canvas 3001 · $28.99Shop this → Astrologically Unavailable tee, folded on a brand backdrop Astrologically UnavailableBella+Canvas 3001 · $28.99Shop this → Your Birth Chart Is A Red Flag tee, hanging on a peg rail Your Birth Chart Is A Red FlagBella+Canvas 3001 · $28.99Shop this → Your Aura Is Beige tee, flat lay in the contrast colourway Your Aura Is BeigeBella+Canvas 3001 · $28.99Shop this → Manifesting Poorly tee, worn candid on-body Manifesting PoorlyBella+Canvas 3001 · $28.99Shop this → It's Not Me, It's My Chart tee, flat lay on a styled celestial surface It's Not Me, It's My ChartBella+Canvas 3001 · $28.99Shop this → Probably Retrograde tee, folded on a brand backdrop Probably RetrogradeBella+Canvas 3001 · $28.99Shop this → Crystals Didn't Fix It tee, hanging on a peg rail Crystals Didn't Fix ItBella+Canvas 3001 · $28.99Shop this →

Every shirt is a Bella+Canvas 3001, printed to order in the USA.

The good blank

Soft ringspun cotton, unisex retail fit. The tee people actually keep.

Printed stateside

Made to order and shipped from the USA. Nothing sits in a warehouse.

Holds up

The print stays put and survives the wash. We checked, repeatedly.

Membership has no benefits.

There are no meetings. There is no newsletter. There is no group chat. There is only the shirt. If your birth chart is a red flag and your aura is beige, you're already in.

Join the society →